It can't possibly be Christmas
Without him being here.
Yet the world is singing round me,
Joyful tidings and good cheer.
Though I try to put on armor
And brave the sights and sounds,
A few moments worth of shopping,
And the tears are spilling down.
I pray for strength to do it.
Find a path through holidays,
Look for shortcuts, good ideas,
Some directions through the maze.
Then I find at last the answer:
I'll include him symbolically.
And the giving becomes perfect;
His Love's flowing down, through me.
We are survivors without any choices,
Dreams of tomorrow are gone today.
Echoing sounds of our children's voices,
Our paths are crossed along the way.
Supporting each other in times of pain,
That is a Survivor Creed.
For a beginning of new hope explained,
This is what we all need.
We need to know that someone cares,
About the pain we feel each day.
That someone understands and shares,
And will be there when we say
"I don't know if I can learn to live,
Or if I would ever even want to.
I may never learn how to forgive
But if I do, it will be because of you~!"
Written by: Sonya Marvel
My Mom Is A Survivor
My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...through Heaven's open door.
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal~!
written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux and dedicated to: Clarissa.
I Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face
My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.
She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.
I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.
But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?
I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.
Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.
Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!
Author Kaye Des'Ormeaux ©2001
It's the Thought That Counts
Often in times of trouble
we don't know what to say,
So we choose to say nothing,
and sometimes run away.
When friends are really hurting,
we don't know what to do,
So we offer weak excuses
or say we're hurting too.
It really doesn't matter
what kind of gift we bring;
We only need to be there
if we don't bring a thing.
It truly is amazing
what a hug can do,
When heartache numbs the senses,
and friends depend on you.
There's comfort just in knowing
that you are not alone,
When tears are overflowing,
and hearts are cold as stone.
It's the loving prayers of others
that balance our accounts,
For when we measure love,
it's still the thought that counts.
By~ Clay Harrison
This is in honor of the Moms who have lost a child. Whether it be their
only child or they have other surviving children, the pain is the
same...it still hurts and will hurt forever.
Many people don't know how to express sympathy to someone who lost a child.
I read an article shortly after my son's death that helped me to
get out the word. It's up to us to educate people who don't know how to
react to you or who do not know what to say in your time of need. Maybe
this article will help us all!
"After losing a teenage son in an automobile accident, I found that
there are a lot of people who have no idea how to express sympathy or
deal with me since the tragedy."
"I don't like to be avoided or treated as if my son never existed. Don't
tell me, 'I know how you feel.' If it hasn't happened to you, there is
no way you can come close to knowing the terrible grief that comes from
losing a child."
"After only six months people came up to me and say, 'It's time to get
on with your life.' They have no idea that the grieving process can
sometimes take two years or longer. All people need to do is say they
are sorry and then treat me the way they have always treated me. They
can bring up my son in ordinary conversation. I like to talk about him
just as they like to talk about their children. I wanted to share my
feelings in the hope that I might help educate those who have had no
idea how to behave or what to say to a grieving parent."
This article was signed by a Beaumont Mother.
We, as mothers who are survivors of losing our children, have a close
bond to each other. We are our support system. We go on with our lives
and live them the best that we can, but our lives are different and our
lives take on new meaning. We will never be the same!
After I lost my son, people would ask me "I don't know how you can live through something like this!" Well, what choices did we have in this? We had to do it. That's what makes us survivors. We have survived the single worst tragedy that can happen to anyone's life.
These are for Rick:
My Dad is a Survivor
My dad is a survivor too...
which is no surprise to me.
He's always been like a lighthouse
that helps you cross a stormy sea.
But, I walk with my dad each day
to lift him when he's down.
I wipe the tears he hides from others.
He cries when no one's around.
I watch him sit up late at night,
with my picture in his hand.
He cries as he tries to grieve alone,
and wishes he could understand.
My dad is like a tower of strength.
He's the greatest of them all~!
But there's times when he needs to cry...
Please be there when he falls.
Hold his hand or pat his shoulder...
his strength when he's sad,
Help him mourn in his own way.
Now, as I watch over my precious dad
from the Heaven's up above...
I'm so proud that he's a survivor...
And, I can still feel his love~!
Written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux
Men Do Cry
I heard quite often "men don't cry"
Though no one ever told me why
So when I fell and skinned a knee
No one came to comfort me.
And when some bully boy at school
Would pull a prank so mean and cruel
I'd quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn't hurt", and bite my lip.
So as I grew to reasoned years
I learned to stifle any tears.
Though "be a big boy" it began,
Quite soon I learned to "be a man".
And I could play that stoic role
While storm and tempest wracked my soul
No pain or setback could there be
Could wrest one single tear from me.
Then one long night I stood nearby
And helplessly watched my son die,
And quickly found to my surprise
That all that tearless talk was lies.
And still I cry and have no shame
I cannot play that "big boy" game,
And openly without remorse
I let my sorrow take it's course.
So those of you who can't abide
A man you've seen whose often cried,
Reach out to him with all your heart
As one whose life's been torn apart.
For men do cry when they can see
Their loss of immorality.
And tears will come in endless streams
When mindless fate destroys their dreams.
~Even Strong Men Cry~
You think because he's a man he shouldn't feel the pain,
of having his heart broken and tears that fall like rain.
Men you say are stronger and never show their fears,
they don't let life destroy them, a fortress through the years.
Let me tell you of a battle waged daily on this dad,
leaving his heart in shreds with no happiness to be had.
Death came to call and took his loving son,
it left his heart broken, his world undone.
This battle has him crying and crawling on his knees,
if you listen you can hear him begging, "Why God, please?"
He sees what it has done to his children and his wife,
as they live daily with grief's never ending strife.
Now his closest friend, his son, lives beyond the sky,
and when death comes to take your child..... even strong men cry.
~Charlene Dickerson~ ©2001
For Amanda & Jay:
Hey Mom, I'm Still Here
Hey Mom, I know you are hurting,
I see your pain and your tears.
I want to hold you and just tell you,
Hey Mom, I'm still here.
I have never lost a child.
But I feel the pain of your loss.
Oh, I loved your child too, Mom.
Can I help you carry this cross?
You know that you still have me.
And I thank God I am still alive.
I want to be like you Mom;
I want to learn how to survive.
I may not accept the loss,
But I'll be here when you cry.
I don't know what to do for you,
But if you'll help me, I'll try.
I lost someone that I love too, Mom.
It's a pain I feel each day.
My best friend throughout my life,
has suddenly passed away.
Today when I write this to you...
I feel the wet drop of a tear.
For when I think about your loss, Mom...
I say, "Hey Mom, I'm still here."